Have you ever wanted something? Had a desire so great that you couldn’t get away from it? I’m not necessarily talking about temptation here, but something that’s inherently good, and you just can’t shake it out of your mind. You HAVE to attain it. Yes, you were temporarily distracted at the birthday party when your sweet niece went head first into her birthday cake. That cute smile covered in chocolate goodness. Life was good. Or you were so focused on the big game that everything else simply didn’t matter. Four hours of peace. What else matters when the Beavers are winning? But then, subtly and sometimes not so subtly, that desire screams inside almost with a mind of its own. What’s worse is that it doesn’t just consume your mind...it has your heart.
I’ve been there...am there. And I think many of you are too. There are many things that we desire that are great...pure even...and God given. The desire I’m wanting to zero in on is marriage. I had to go there, you say? Oh you know you were already going there before I even mentioned it...come on, I know. I’ve talked to you...oh so many of you who are in the same place. The hope of becoming someone’s wife, someone’s husband. To laugh with, to cry with, to have and to hold. To start your own family and one of the greatest adventures ever. Yes, the desire’s talking right now. I tried to forget it at church this morning. Thinking that maybe if I fully focused and engaged my brain in the study, I would have a momentary reprieve. Then, it happened...the message started to lean in that direction, and all too suddenly it was too late. Marriage. At first, just a side note in the sermon...an innocent rabbit trail. I can ignore it. Go on, pastor...back to what you were saying. An then...oh no! Full force now, the sermon turns 90 degrees to the right and marriage becomes the new topic. And like a flash flood, it returns. The thoughts soon follow. I just want to be married! Why isn’t it happening?! Lord, why do I have to wait so long?! Full force it emerges. Unabashed, unrelenting, there it is again.
Just when you think you’re the only one, right? Wrong. Unless you’ve been living in a closet, you are probably all too aware of how many of us feel this way. Or how many of us live with it. I’m not surprised. I’ve lived with it for many years, waiting for the day when I could put on that gorgeous white dress and kiss it goodbye as I make my way toward the fulfillment of that desire. You have too, I know. And you know, frankly, I’m getting a little worried. About the desire, you ask? No, I believe that in many, if not all of us, that very longing was tenderly planted by our loving Father. It’s a good thing, a God thing. What concerns me then? The idea of it driving us away from His plan, His sovereignty, His wisdom. Compromise. Settling. Call it what you want, it is the enemy of all He has for us.
Recently, I allowed my foot to rest slightly on that slippery slope...just my toes. It wasn’t like I was actually going to walk on it. I was totally in control of the situation...nothing to worry about. You see, I had been getting to know this guy. Okay, you might as well know. I was on a dating site (a whole other topic for a whole other post). The site wasn’t the issue for me. I believe it was an okay step for me to take. Through the site, I have met several great, God fearing guys who just turned out not to be right for me. Not a big deal. But over a year and a half, it had become a big deal. The desire had come to an apex. And wouldn’t you know, opportunity came knocking. It has a way of showing up at those vulnerable moments. I started to email back and forth with a guy in the area. He seemed to be funny, intelligent, godly, ambitious. There was just one little problem...he wasn’t at all right for me. And I knew it. I could quickly and clearly see that our goals, hopes, dreams, and even interests were not at all overlapping. But did I let him know? No. I kept emailing, all the while letting my heart slip. This could work, I thought. Maybe he’ll change. Maybe if I just ignore the issues, they’ll go away.
You want to know what the silver lining was through all of this? God’s loving, active, protective, and sweet heart toward me. He knows I want to follow Him. He knows I want to yield to His plan. It can be a struggle, He is well aware. He also knows I’m weak like the rest and in desperate need of His timely rebukes and infinite wisdom. And just as the mystery man and I were about to meet, He stepped in. My Heavenly Father sat down on the front porch of my life and began to clean His gun. I love Him! And I love it when He gets the gun out, if you know what I mean. Mr. Definitely Not Right had gotten into another relationship sort of unexpectedly and could no longer meet.
The funny thing is, I felt relief more than anything else. Like I said, I had known he was all wrong for me. Over time, and after meeting lots of people, I have learned what works and what does not in a future mate. God has also encouraged me over and over again that He has someone so right for me. A perfect man? That’s not at all what I’m saying. But right for me. Might we have some varying interests? Yes, but we’ll have many of the same too. Will our personalities complement one another? Of course! Will he be Mr. Serious? No, because if he won’t laugh at my jokes, who will? Our passions and goals will most certainly overlap as well. The guy for me will absolutely have a heart for youth. What will that look like in his life? I have no idea, but I’m excited to see how we will compliment one another.
Okay, that brings me to another point. I can’t tell you how many of my friends are on the verge of making the same mistake. Their toes are starting to inch toward the slope of compromising just to get what they long for. Except it won’t be what they’re really longing for, in the end, will it? I even recently read a blog in which the writer said the Bible mentions nothing about God’s sovereignty in two people coming together. Hogwash! The Bible is dripping with God’s sovereignty. His sovereignty in choosing us as His own (Romans 8:29). Protecting us (Exodus 14:22-25). Leading us in the day to day stuff (Acts 16:7). And in the area of courting and marriage, there’s plenty to chew on.
Let’s dive into one of my favorite love stories of the Bible. In Genesis 24, we begin by eavesdropping on Abraham and his servant. As one of his last wishes, Abraham wants to know for certain that his son will not marry a foreigner but one of his own people. The servant agrees that he will give it his best effort and so the journey begins. Operation Find Isaac a Wife. I’d like to know what Isaac was thinking at this point. I might be a bit terrified if the decision was up to someone else! My parents have had some funny ideas of Mr. Right. Nonetheless, the servant journeys on hoping to find just the right one. Kind of like you and I. And so he prays. A good place to start, if you ask me! He asks God to lead him in finding this woman. He prays that the woman, who not only offers him a drink from the well but a drink for his camels also, will be the one. Okay, don’t miss this...verse 14, he prays “Let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master.” Did you catch it? The one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. Can you believe it? God chose a certain woman to be Isaac’s wife. She was meant for him, and God’s hand was active in bringing them together. Talk about an amazing love story! My romantic heart is beating faster. :)
Have you gotten away from that truth? Have you convinced yourself that God doesn’t really mind who you choose as long as they’re a Christian. Do you think He has better things to do than concern Himself with your hope of love? Do you really think the One who sovereignly chose you, wooed you, and brought you to Himself has no interest in leading you to your future spouse? I believe He not only cares, but wants to be the driver on this trip.
Back to Isaac. I love the next part. It says that before the servant had even finished his prayer, guess who showed up? Rebekah! She offered a drink to the servant and then to his camels...just as he had prayed! She’s the one! The very one! His heart must have leapt for joy because he had found the one God had chosen for Isaac.
Now to the men out there: I’m not saying that you should go around asking who will give water to your camels. If you do, you will probably find yourself more single than ever! But I pray that we would not lose sight of His intense love for us and the plan He has so intricately woven for each of our lives. Could it be that He has appointed you to be someone’s husband? Someone’s wife? Could it be that in His incomprehensible wisdom, He sees who would be the best fit for you, who will compliment your gifts, pursue those dreams right along side you, and enjoy the small things in life with your company?
Will you give Him the wheel? And while you’re at it...check those toes.
